


when we get lost

by walkthegale



Category: Holby City
Genre: Berena Appreciation Week, F/F, Ficlet, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Sabbatical
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 17:53:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11537403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/walkthegale/pseuds/walkthegale
Summary: Bernie found Serena on the roof.





	when we get lost

**Author's Note:**

> For [Berena Appreciation Week](http://ddagent.tumblr.com/post/162558827900/its-berena-appreciation-week-so-serena-is-on), Day 2. Prompt: _Firsts_.

Bernie found Serena on the roof.

She was sitting on the metal steps, hunched over, rolling and unrolling a scrap of paper between her fingers. Bernie sat down beside her and waited.

“It’s not a cigarette,” Serena told her, presently, unrolling the paper again and waving it in her direction. It was a receipt for coffee and a pain au chocolat that morning at Pulses, the pastry shared with Bernie, alternating bites as they walked to their office.

“I can see that.”

Serena rolled the receipt up. “God, I really want a smoke.”

Bernie fished in the pocket of her hoodie, offered the pack of chewing gum she found there. “It’s not as good, but it’ll help.”

Serena stared at her for a moment through narrowed eyes, but then she took the gum, unwrapped it, and popped it in her mouth.

“Sam Jones died,” Serena said, finally, looking straight ahead, at the sky and the clouds and the tower block a couple of roads over. “Nothing to be done, there was just too much damage.”

Bernie watched Serena’s profile, shadowed in the evening light. “Have you told her family?”

Serena nodded. “Just came from there.”

“Ah.”

“Don’t you dare give me a pep talk, Ms Wolfe.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Bernie slid her hand over to Serena’s, twined their fingers together. “I seem to remember being told that I’m not much good at pep talks, anyway.”

A hint of a smile pulled at Serena’s lips. “I think you’ll find what I actually said was that you’re bloody terrible at them.”

Bernie raised an eyebrow. “Watch it, Campbell.”

They sat together for a few quiet minutes, Bernie rubbing small circles on the back of Serena’s hand with her thumb.

“It’s only because she’s the first one.”

“I know.”

“You know, the gum does help,” Serena admitted. “Only a bit. Don’t get smug.”

“Never.”

Serena stood up. “I’m going back in now, because if I stay here, I'll cry, and I can't cry, not until after my shift. I'm not a sodding F1.”

“Right you are, soldier.” Bernie gave Serena a lazy salute and a smile, which was half-returned. She let Serena go in alone, to give her the walk down the stairs to put her work-face back on. 

She wished the world could have given Serena just a bit more of a break than that. Serena had only been back from her sabbatical for two days, it just seemed like too much, that she should lose a patient under her knife so soon. But the hospital marched on, and knew no mercy, and these were the choices they had made.

Bernie thought about later, when she would sit with Serena on the sofa in the house they now shared, and Serena would cry, and they would talk, and later still when they would go up to the bed that was now both of theirs, and Serena would sleep in her arms, if not entirely peacefully, then better than she would alone. These were the choices they had made, and Bernie wouldn't change it for the world.

She headed back to join Serena on AAU.


End file.
